You know what I’m talking about…a past relationship you just can’t seem to let go of; a past relationship feeling like a weight on your heart or mind.
If you’re not there now, you have been at some point.
How do I know?
Because we all have.
Unless you have been living on a deserted island your whole life without another live creature, you’ve experienced the ending of a relationship. This ending with someone you loved left you with raw feelings: disappointment, frustration, bewilderment. Feelings of being unloved or perhaps even separate from the rest of the world.
The pain of this, the weight of this on your heart is like a cement shoe. (Put that image in your mind’s eye) It keeps you stuck in the muck of it all but it also prevents you from moving forward…
…and it prevents you from actually experiencing a truly loving and intimate relationship with others.
And a truly loving relationship is what you deserve to experience.
These 3 things keep you tied to the past
In order for you to experience a truly loving and intimate relationship with others, you must let go of the past. And this just can’t happen without first purging the beliefs that interfered with that development in the first place.
So how can you tell if you need to heal and Forgive a past relationship? Check these 3 things and if you’re doing any of them, you have some healing and forgiveness that needs to happen.
1. You feel stuck
That cement shoe is real.
It makes it impossible for you to move forward and when you try, it just winds its chain around your ankle to hold you back even more.
This cement shoe is made up of dense energy which is the residue of false beliefs about yourself . False beliefs you took in from this relationship after it went awry.
These beliefs are untrue and they are keeping you separate from remembering who you really are. These are any beliefs that you are unworthy or unlovable or incapable of loving or even, that you deserved to be punished in some way by the Universe because of it.
These dense energies were produced by your ego mind in relation to your past relationship to prevent you from experiencing true love…joy, peace, connection, intimacy, abundance; all aspects of unconditional Divine Love; the only True YOU!
2. You perseverate
There is no better word to describe what happens when you continue replaying your relationship, your break-up, your conversations. You re-read text messages and emails. You keep replaying the conversations. You keep going over it and over it again and again in your mind.
You hear the conversations, you conjure up the memories of what happened and where. You find yourself dissecting it to find where you can blame, where you can shame, where you can make them accountable for hurting you, what you should or could have said to change the outcome. Remember, no matter how many times you do this, the outcome never changes...
…and by keeping that memory alive, by keeping those conversations going, you are also keeping the feelings of anger, sadness, worthlessness and desperation alive as well.
You find yourself repeating the atrocities to anyone who listens and also see yourself as a victim and the other person or people reprehensible! You strive to be ‘right’ while being ‘wronged’ and you continue to seek being vindicated and perhaps have become self-righteous.
And yet inside, underneath it all, you are in pain and continually asking “why couldn’t they love me?” when that was all you ever really wanted.
3. You automatically distrust anyone who invites you to see things differently
Perhaps it was just an innocent comment or a question but it challenges your ‘truth’ about the situation.
You feel the resistance, perhaps even anger. You become indignant and it rises up from deep within you creating a rush of heat. You immediately take a defensive stance preparing yourself for battle, to defend your beliefs, to defend your position and of course, your victimhood. This preparation for battle, whether it is internal or external, prevents the normal and necessary energy flow of moving in and moving out.
Suddenly you feel that old sickening feeling you identify as being unlovable, unloved, alone and abandoned…
…And you believe it all over again.
Therefore, every time you rehash the past, the residue energy gets more and more dense and you become more and more stuck. A vicious cycle, like a dog chasing its tail trying to make logical sense of it all.
In truth, the answers lie not in your head rather they lie deep within your heart. It's time to get out of your head and into your heart to truly put the past behind you.